What To Expect: (Back-to-School) Your Toes Will Lead You Forward

Will there ever come a time when Back-to-School does stir up a frenzy of the time honored tradition of Back-to-School shopping? 

Gawd, I hope not.

I'm stretching the term Back-to-School here, because technically I've been "back" for three weeks now. Of course, when I took my first steps in the hallowed halls of graduate school I wanted to exude confidence, blade sharp intelligence, and "You Wish You Were Me" style. Since, my feet  guided me as I took these first coveted steps I need to make sure that my lovely digits were covered in kicks that represented me. 

So! Here are the Back-to-COOL kicks I got to start my school year off right:

Flowery Flats: Goodwill $6.00

Tan Heeled Boots: Ross, $15.99

Steve Madden Patent Leather Ballet Flats: Ross $12.99

Three weeks into the semester , I can safely say the New Jersey weather has ensured that all of these babies were styled and profiled to class, the store, and my apartment.

What To Expect: Living for the Past Will Get You Nowhere Fast

Image retrieved from Weheartit.com

Facebook is where I go to feel sorry for myself.

(I know that is a horrifyingly depressing first line, but it gets better I promise.)

Facebook is where the never-quite-healed feels of high school, come out to play with my newly cultivated post grad Grown-And-Sexy persona.

The hardest part of being home for the summer is the feeling that I'm living out my Facebook newsfeed in real time and 3D.

It's disconcerting...to say the least.

Isn't there supposed to be a moment when you are over all that crazy teenage angst and self-esteem stuff? Where is my Ferris Bueller dancing in the parade moment? My John Hughes crafted homage to freedom from the hegemonic power structures intent on my oppression and obliteration?

All of it really begs the question, who am I living//being for? My current self or the girl in high school, who didn't even think that person I am now could exist?

Can I tell you I'm not sure I have an answer?
Can I say that and we move on over a cold beer and hummus?

One possible answer is that those two people are one and the same. My current Grown-And-Sexy wouldn't be half the woman she currently is without the acute misery(this is NOT hyperbolic language unfortunately) that her high school self felt.

One answer posits my current Grown-And-Sexy owes something not only to that weird girl, but also to herself. She owes it to both of those chicas to be the best version of herself possible.

As I move forward, I am beginning to look at life as something that has to be done aggressively with lots of verbs. Not just any verbs, but good ones like run, jump, write, smile, do. The biggest thing about using the aforementioned "good" verbs to describe my life is the realization that in order to move forward I have officially let go of the perpetual hater in my head that dwells on things and insecurities Grown-and-Sexy Amanda declared nonsense years ago.

What to Expect Rule #1

Looking back is the quickest way to foil all of your plans of moving forward.

Expecting Beauty: Those Thrift Days of Summer

I'm set to start bemoaning the post grad, pre-grad school days soon (I'd never leave you hanging!), but I thought about giving you a glimpse into my goodwill shopping bag to see what you can see.

I started hardcore thrifting about two to three years and I've been lusting after my local Goodwill, Salvation Army, Value Village, and countless consignments since. I've been quite chill on the thrifting lately though. The excuses remain the same:

I haven't had time to properly pick through the store.
I'm busy molding my hinder parts to the couch in the den.
I started watching Orange is the New Black and was unable to leave my house for three days.
My wallet is on new levels of empty.
Netflix.

BUT! A brand new Goodwill was opened up near my home and I HAD too! Here are some of my favorite finds.


Coach handbag: 19.95

Late Mother's Day present...also a little something to remind them that they love me before they buy my books

 Earrings: 2.65 each

Sleeveless Black Lace Women's Blouse: 4.94

Black Slim Fit Evening Gown with a Lace Cut-Out Back: 2.00!!!!

Floor length and fits like a glove! Praise the Goodwill Goddess!!!

le sigh :)

I'll make another thrift shop stop before I leave for school, but for a ten minute starter back-to-school thrift haul...I think I did well :)

Expecting Beauty: Red Lips

Wearing NYX's Alabama with Wet N' Wild's Fuchsia Fusion lipliner

You want to know a truth universally acknowledged?

Red lipstick makes everything better. 

Always

. 

Fact. 

Bible.

I'd like to debunk a few red lip lies told by good people with bad information:

1. Dark Girls CAN wear red lipstick. Hear that ASAP Rocky? Don't listen to the haters, ladies. There is no reason for you to think you can't rock a daring red hue with the best of them.
2. Lip liners are your friend. They will never leave or forsake you. There is nothing more heartbreaking than seeing all your hard work smeared on the cap of your Starbucks cup. Lip liners help your gorgeous shade stay on all day. Also, lip liner can help accent different elements of your lipstick and help compliment your skin tone with the color of the lipstick.
3. Blot between layers to get long lasting stay.
4. It is totally appropriate to wear red lipstick to menial outings like Walmart, the bank, and beer runs.
5. When hugging people...my lipstick literally fights to smear itself on other people..especially since I'm shorter than most (if not all) people.Tuck your lips in when hugging someone....trust me.
6. Wear the lipstick. Don't let the lipstick wear you.
7. Hilary Clinton's personal aide wears the red lipstick to help Clinton shift though emails and diplomacy and to help her Weiner of a husband. Think about that. The flawless women that Hillary Clinton surrounds herself with rock a bold lip. Red lipstick= bold, flawless, bffs with Hillary Clinton.
8. It gives you confidence! Studies have shown that women with the fiery hue painted on their lips are more confident and self assured than bare lipped ladies. 
9. Lip size doesn't matter. Red lipstick is not a size queen.
10. Shop around for a shade. Not every shade of red will end up being perfect for you, shop around and do some research about the type of red that would be the most flattering. It'll be worth it when you find your perfect color.

What To Expect: Quarter Life Crisis: Marriage Edition or the The Case of the Tragic Singleton

Image from Weheartit.com

This blog post is suffering from multiple name disorder....apologies!

There are moments when logging on to Facebook makes you feel good about where you are in your life. Someone will have upload a flattering picture or your comment on your friend's status was liked by people you've never met. You know...the super gratifying stuff.

But mostly Facebook just works to ensure that you always compare your life to the lives of all the people around you who have better more interesting lives. How else would we know how to mark success and failure?

Mostly, scrolling through Facebook makes me question whether or not, I'm doing certain things in my correctly.

Should I be partying more?
Should I invest in a flask? Perhaps a bejeweled one like hers?
Am I the only one who hasn't lost 1 million pounds since high school?

Why are they all so married? Why am I so single?

And that friends...is the point of this post. We're in the carefree years, the years of responsibility- free livin' and binge drinking. We are also in the years of settling down and legally binding contracts(ones of a romantic and student loany nature).

Life is nothing if not ironic.

If the work you do in during your twenties sets the base for the rest of your life, should I be working harder to get a boo?

I can't even imagine myself in a relationship right now, I honestly can't even imagine anything more permanent than getting my Masters degree and finally deciding to drink my tea with honey instead of sugar.

Perhaps, that's why I'm single...no long game.

I don't feel like a tragic singleton. I don't feel third wheeled in a mass of "booed" up friends. I am aware that they have something that I don't, and the mantra "chicks before dicks" only goes so far. I know that one day, the overnight sleep overs will be thwarted by husbands. One day, I won't be able to call my bestie at 3 am because her husband will probably be a light sleeper and unappreciative of my midnight breakdown. One day I'll feel discontent about my single girl in the city status and wish for a more permanent cuddle buddy.

One day maybe.

Probably.

Expecting Beauty: Keeping My Lip Game Right

As you grow older it is important to recognize your vices. My biggest vice (outsode of an occasional glass of wine) is makeup, more specifically lipstick.

I LOVE lipstick.

Love it.

I wear lipstick (in some form) every time I leave my house. Whether it's a matte creme MAC shade, a Revlon lip butter, a NYX matte lipcolor, or a Wet N' Wild bargain, lipstick is followed only by my car keys in my dash out the door.

So I thought I would share some of the collection favorites!

Favs in my NYX Collection:

NYX Matte Lipstick "Alabama"

NYX Matte Lipstick "Merlot"

Must-haves from ULTA:

ULTA "Raspberry Serbet"

ULTA "Chocolate Kiss"

 Used so much I've literally rubbed off the writing...

REVLON Lip Butters....oh you mean Revlon Life Changers...:

Revlon Lip Butter "Red Velvet"

Revlon Lip Butter " Raspberry Pie"

MAC.... enough said:

MAC Satin Lipstick "Verve"

MAC Matte Lipstick "Diva"

Here are all the swatches put together:

The lippie flawlessness is literally punching you in the face

Obvi....I have a lipstick type

Go be flawless!

What To Expect:The Moment When You Realize You Aren't A Kid

Image from http://pinterest.com/pin/19632948347280191/ 
Found at WeHeartIt.com

Frankly, I never thought it would happen.

At least not this early.

I was always positive it would hit like a bullet in the back when I got my first traffic violation ticket, or when I paid rent for the first time (since I'm perpetually in college, rent isn't an issue....yet). Perhaps, I was waiting for menopause to be my marker of change. Physically, you have to grow up. By 22, I've accepted that as fact.

Either way, growing up is something I knew happened....I just didn't know it would happen to me.

But, this fact hit me square between the shoulders this past weekend.

I wasn't even looking. Maturity snuck up on me with all the lithe wisdom of its years.It hit hard and fast with all the pain and dread of a bullet. I never saw it coming and I never had a chance.

This past weekend I was in a bus with a large amount of youngsters aged 7 through 15 for a VERY long time. Armed only with a book and an iPod, I popped a squat in the coveted back of the bus. I slept for the first hour, Florence belted out "Sweet Nothing" approximately 48 times and my snores kept in time with the bass.

It was a good time.

A good time, UNTIL I was accosted by a wafting wave of hot fries. It was as if, the spicy repugnant aroma of the fries had replaced all the oxygen on the bus. I promise you, a thin veil of artificial red powder covered everything. Following this unpleasant move towards consciousness, I became privy to a conversation between the youngsters. I'd just like to say that for an adult, I send a great deal of my time concerned about things that are considered juvenile. I listen to angsty music surely geared towards someone going through their first break up, I have recently kissed a picture of Niall Horan from One Direction...the list goes on. But, at the moment in the bus...listening to their chatter, trying to get the stench of powdered hot sauce out of my hair, I realized I am an adult. Or at least adult enough to know that I've passed that particular stage in my life.

The weird thing about moving forward is that it happens without acknowledging itself. One day, you look back and see all the obstacles you've climbed over and the personal growth you've achieved without even remembering that you made all that happen by yourself.

Growing as a person is an occasion to celebrate, but there is still some nostalgia for 16 year old Amanda. Some longing for how small my life was back then. But mostly, I want to shake that girl. Tell her how awesome it all gets, how well dressed, strong, confident, and independent she becomes.

I don't know what to expect when it comes to getting older. I suppose this was the first step in learning that.